Communication is very important in building human relations. When we say communication, we refer to effective communication and not the one-sided ones you normally see or hear in offices and schools all around the world. Secondly, the golden rule to follow in communication is the intelligent and appropriate use of vocabulary. It is very easy to criticize or berate someone. At the same time, it is very difficult to offer sincere praise as well. The best way to build up relations with people is by giving the credit wherever and whenever it is due. Thirdly, one should not use angry words or display angry behavior with anyone. It can spell the doom of the relationship. Landmark Forum explains these aspects with beautiful anecdotes and inspirational stories. Let us share some of them for the benefit of the people who have never attended the Forum.
In the earlier paragraph, we had spoken about anger being the prime cause for breaches in relationships. Let us see how this pans out in real life.
There was a boy who had a very short temper. Many children do have short tempers but this boy was very different. He used to get angry at the slightest pretext. He did not realize the harm it caused to him as well as others close to him. His father tried to counsel him but to no avail.
One day his father decided to try out a different psychological method. He handed over a box of nails and a hammer to the boy. He asked him to hammer one nail into the fence whenever he felt angry. The boy agreed and fired in 35 nails on the first day. Gradually, he realized that hammering nails into the fence was a tough job. Hence, he decided the best way out was to control his temper. He learned to do it and by the end of the first month, he came down to ‘zero’. He proudly announced to his father that he was able to control his temper completely.
The father was pleased but he gave him another task. For every day he kept his control on his temper, he has to pull out a nail from the fence. Now, this was a tough task but the boy was up to it. Within six months, all the nails on the fence vanished. The boy was fully cured of the temper tantrums.
Now, came the real part of the training. The father took him over to the fence and comment how it looked. The boy replied that it looked horrible with the innumerable holes all over it. The father remarked that the situation in life is similar. Every time you get angry with someone and use rough words, you create holes in the relationship with that person. No matter what you do, it is impossible to fill up the holes. Hence, one should be very careful while speaking with people. Any word, intentional or non-intentional has the capacity to harm relationships.
Landmark Forum is full of such interesting stories to support their teachings.
Self Development | Personal Development 